Wednesday, September 27, 2006
OF NIGHTMARES AND BAD DREAMS
Bwest of Bwana
An occasional Breakfast with Bwana
OF NIGHTMARES AND BAD DREAMS:
September 27, 2006
Yesterday started simply enough, almost casually, with my usual earlier-than-thou wake up around 4:00 AM, just about in time to avoid the rush hour traffic in London, but not quite avoiding those coming home in Sydney or Melbourne. Well, it wasn’t the usual need to answer an empty-your-bladder command from the central nervous system, but I woke up after a bad dream or nightmare. I’m not sure exactly which category this fits, but, as you will see it doesn’t really matter because in the world of bad dreams and nightmares, the government can ruin a good day faster than you can on your own. Putting aside the realization that since I was neither in London nor Sydney, I had only avoided traffic problems in my dreams, let us continue.
I don’t usually remember dreams so this one is a stark exception. I dreamt that I had gotten a telephone call from a lab doctor – not my doctor, but a lab doctor informing me of the results of a blood test. Now, I have indeed had a recent blood test but the results are known and not what I dreamt. I dreamt that the lab doctor said that I had some form of blood cancer and could never play golf again!
Imagine the nerve of the doc – I couldn’t tell if it was a he or she (see below), but I was impressed at my own cool. I remember either saying or “thinking” (now, that is weird, when you dream that you are thinking) “Screw it, I’m playing golf.” I also remember reasoning in the dream: “If I play golf I’ll die. If I don’t play golf, I’ll die. So, screw it, I’m playing golf.”
Okay, I do have to go back for a blood retest – but it’s just to check cholesterol levels and LFT stuff following a change from one statin to another for the benefit of my health insurer so that they can force me to take a generic when the patented stuff I was using worked just fine.
The part about my doctor is simple: in mid-May, he told me that he was leaving in June for about three weeks and would return in his female persona. So, the statin switch was made by him, and the last blood tests were ordered by her. Him, her – same person, a wonderful doctor, just in different clothes and she wears a wig and purple colored glasses.
Okay, so given the early rise, it’s still a fairly fresh day when I start going over paperwork and come across this form titled: DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION – FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION: TRIENNIAL AIRCRAFT REGISTRATION REPORT.
Wow! I’m impressed that the Federal Government has seen the need to reduce paperwork and recognizes that a triennial registration report is perfectly adequate. I read the form and notice that it is already filled in with my name, the aircraft tail number, aircraft serial number, etc. So, I wonder what the need for all this is. Keep in mind that this is a heavy card stock measuring 8 ½ x 11 inches and designed to be cut in half and mailed back – so I’d be mailing a 5 ½ by 8 ½ card back. As I get ready to sign this form and send it back, I flip it over and lo, it says:
IMPORTANT NOTICE
The Triennial Aircraft Registration Report is used by the Federal Aviation Administration to update the Aircraft Registry files when no registration activity has occurred in the past 36 months.
Complete and return this form ONLY if the information provided on the reverse side is incorrect.
Hmmm… I wonder if they paid Halliburton $25,000 a pop to come up with that gem. You know, the more you think about it, since FAA regulations require that all aircraft be registered and each transfer be recorded with the FAA registry, the form is totally unnecessary, even every three years. I bet they paid Halliburton $3,000,000 to figure that out and come up with a triennial follow up.
Soon thereafter – or was it quite a while later? – I turned on the telly to see President Bush holding one of his “So You Think You Can Dance” press conferences with another head of state, this time, Kaptain Kryptonite Karzai of Afghanistan (well, of Kabul anyway) who is sort of a head puppet of state. There was Kaptain Kryptonite wearing his green cape and his tribal headgear, attempting to appear head-of-statish while President Bushbaby, smirk and all, was doing everything not to. I’ll say one thing about our Prez … he sure knows how to stay ON MESSAGE as he dodged a question about who was right, Bill Clinton or Condi, and launched off into the need to have secret tribunals and wiretapping authorization.
Kaptain Kryptonite is invited to dinner at the White House along with Condi and Dick CHEstpaiNEY – there goes the appetite – to meet President Musharraf of Pakistan (minus Waziristan which has been turned over to the Taliban overlords or underlords or whatever they are). As you all may know, there is a spitting war – a sort of uncivil war going on between Kaptain Kryptonite and President Musharraf. The Pakistani President is, meanwhile, touting his book, a so-called memoir. He even appeared on The Daily Show with John Stewart to plug his book. So, this is what it has come to – US aid which used to go to foreign dictators now goes to Halliburton. And the poor dictator is left to fend for himself at amazon.com.
When it comes to commitment in the war on terror, perhaps President Bill Clinton is right – but on the other hand, he got a big book allowance too, didn’t he? And don’t you remember when Netanyahu showed up in the US immediately post-partum 9-11 having delivered his new baby, a book on terror?
We have a war-on-terror here folks, a civil war in Iraq, a Taliban insurgency in Afghanistan, Pakistan has lost a chunk the size of New Jersey, and these guys are trying to peddle books!
Ah, it was fun when all we had to deal with was Senator Macaca (George Allen, R. Va.) and Senator Slurpee (Joe Biden, D. Del.) dissing on the Indians. Now, we find out that Senator Macaca has Jewish lineage and I suppose we’ll find out soon enough that Joe Biden’s grandfather cooked a mean goat curry.
I think I’m going to start a new business – outsourcing dissing on your opponents. My plan is to hire 10,000 Indians in Bangalore or Mumbai and they’ll create nasty commercials on demand. And we’ll get ‘em to say it with emphasis on the second syllable. Well, they do that anyway!
Okay, gotta go, I have a golf game and limited time to play it.
Shhhhhhh… don’t wake me up … I think it’s all a bad dream or a nightmare.
Cheerz...Bwana
An occasional Breakfast with Bwana
OF NIGHTMARES AND BAD DREAMS:
September 27, 2006
Yesterday started simply enough, almost casually, with my usual earlier-than-thou wake up around 4:00 AM, just about in time to avoid the rush hour traffic in London, but not quite avoiding those coming home in Sydney or Melbourne. Well, it wasn’t the usual need to answer an empty-your-bladder command from the central nervous system, but I woke up after a bad dream or nightmare. I’m not sure exactly which category this fits, but, as you will see it doesn’t really matter because in the world of bad dreams and nightmares, the government can ruin a good day faster than you can on your own. Putting aside the realization that since I was neither in London nor Sydney, I had only avoided traffic problems in my dreams, let us continue.
I don’t usually remember dreams so this one is a stark exception. I dreamt that I had gotten a telephone call from a lab doctor – not my doctor, but a lab doctor informing me of the results of a blood test. Now, I have indeed had a recent blood test but the results are known and not what I dreamt. I dreamt that the lab doctor said that I had some form of blood cancer and could never play golf again!
Imagine the nerve of the doc – I couldn’t tell if it was a he or she (see below), but I was impressed at my own cool. I remember either saying or “thinking” (now, that is weird, when you dream that you are thinking) “Screw it, I’m playing golf.” I also remember reasoning in the dream: “If I play golf I’ll die. If I don’t play golf, I’ll die. So, screw it, I’m playing golf.”
Okay, I do have to go back for a blood retest – but it’s just to check cholesterol levels and LFT stuff following a change from one statin to another for the benefit of my health insurer so that they can force me to take a generic when the patented stuff I was using worked just fine.
The part about my doctor is simple: in mid-May, he told me that he was leaving in June for about three weeks and would return in his female persona. So, the statin switch was made by him, and the last blood tests were ordered by her. Him, her – same person, a wonderful doctor, just in different clothes and she wears a wig and purple colored glasses.
Okay, so given the early rise, it’s still a fairly fresh day when I start going over paperwork and come across this form titled: DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION – FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION: TRIENNIAL AIRCRAFT REGISTRATION REPORT.
Wow! I’m impressed that the Federal Government has seen the need to reduce paperwork and recognizes that a triennial registration report is perfectly adequate. I read the form and notice that it is already filled in with my name, the aircraft tail number, aircraft serial number, etc. So, I wonder what the need for all this is. Keep in mind that this is a heavy card stock measuring 8 ½ x 11 inches and designed to be cut in half and mailed back – so I’d be mailing a 5 ½ by 8 ½ card back. As I get ready to sign this form and send it back, I flip it over and lo, it says:
IMPORTANT NOTICE
The Triennial Aircraft Registration Report is used by the Federal Aviation Administration to update the Aircraft Registry files when no registration activity has occurred in the past 36 months.
Complete and return this form ONLY if the information provided on the reverse side is incorrect.
Hmmm… I wonder if they paid Halliburton $25,000 a pop to come up with that gem. You know, the more you think about it, since FAA regulations require that all aircraft be registered and each transfer be recorded with the FAA registry, the form is totally unnecessary, even every three years. I bet they paid Halliburton $3,000,000 to figure that out and come up with a triennial follow up.
Soon thereafter – or was it quite a while later? – I turned on the telly to see President Bush holding one of his “So You Think You Can Dance” press conferences with another head of state, this time, Kaptain Kryptonite Karzai of Afghanistan (well, of Kabul anyway) who is sort of a head puppet of state. There was Kaptain Kryptonite wearing his green cape and his tribal headgear, attempting to appear head-of-statish while President Bushbaby, smirk and all, was doing everything not to. I’ll say one thing about our Prez … he sure knows how to stay ON MESSAGE as he dodged a question about who was right, Bill Clinton or Condi, and launched off into the need to have secret tribunals and wiretapping authorization.
Kaptain Kryptonite is invited to dinner at the White House along with Condi and Dick CHEstpaiNEY – there goes the appetite – to meet President Musharraf of Pakistan (minus Waziristan which has been turned over to the Taliban overlords or underlords or whatever they are). As you all may know, there is a spitting war – a sort of uncivil war going on between Kaptain Kryptonite and President Musharraf. The Pakistani President is, meanwhile, touting his book, a so-called memoir. He even appeared on The Daily Show with John Stewart to plug his book. So, this is what it has come to – US aid which used to go to foreign dictators now goes to Halliburton. And the poor dictator is left to fend for himself at amazon.com.
When it comes to commitment in the war on terror, perhaps President Bill Clinton is right – but on the other hand, he got a big book allowance too, didn’t he? And don’t you remember when Netanyahu showed up in the US immediately post-partum 9-11 having delivered his new baby, a book on terror?
We have a war-on-terror here folks, a civil war in Iraq, a Taliban insurgency in Afghanistan, Pakistan has lost a chunk the size of New Jersey, and these guys are trying to peddle books!
Ah, it was fun when all we had to deal with was Senator Macaca (George Allen, R. Va.) and Senator Slurpee (Joe Biden, D. Del.) dissing on the Indians. Now, we find out that Senator Macaca has Jewish lineage and I suppose we’ll find out soon enough that Joe Biden’s grandfather cooked a mean goat curry.
I think I’m going to start a new business – outsourcing dissing on your opponents. My plan is to hire 10,000 Indians in Bangalore or Mumbai and they’ll create nasty commercials on demand. And we’ll get ‘em to say it with emphasis on the second syllable. Well, they do that anyway!
Okay, gotta go, I have a golf game and limited time to play it.
Shhhhhhh… don’t wake me up … I think it’s all a bad dream or a nightmare.
Cheerz...Bwana
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Running a hospital
Here is a link to a new blog on running a hospital.
This is special. It’s written by the CEO of BIDMC, a Harvard Teaching Hospital in Boston reputed to be one of the finest medical centers in Boston.
As the story goes, a fellow falls ill on a flight into Boston and asks the cab driver to take him to the best hospital. The cab driver winds through the tunnel, Storrow Drive, Kenmore Square, Brookline Avenue, and arrives at BIDMC. The fellow, now gasping, asks “Why have you brought me here? I thought that __ is the best hospital in the world.”
The cab driver says: “You are correct. __ is the best hospital in the world but this one, BIDMC is the best hospital in Boston.”
So, here’s the link.
http://runningahospital.blogspot.com
The blogger here is Paul Levy, CEO of BIDMC.
He is smart and self-effacing. He should not be self-effacing except about his golf game, but as a CEO, he is nothing short of terrific.
I think you will enjoy the stories he will tell over the years and the sense of caring and compassion evident in his approach to running an amorphous institution.
Feel free to comment on his posts and also to give him some golf tips.
Cheerz…Bwana
This is special. It’s written by the CEO of BIDMC, a Harvard Teaching Hospital in Boston reputed to be one of the finest medical centers in Boston.
As the story goes, a fellow falls ill on a flight into Boston and asks the cab driver to take him to the best hospital. The cab driver winds through the tunnel, Storrow Drive, Kenmore Square, Brookline Avenue, and arrives at BIDMC. The fellow, now gasping, asks “Why have you brought me here? I thought that __ is the best hospital in the world.”
The cab driver says: “You are correct. __ is the best hospital in the world but this one, BIDMC is the best hospital in Boston.”
So, here’s the link.
http://runningahospital.blogspot.com
The blogger here is Paul Levy, CEO of BIDMC.
He is smart and self-effacing. He should not be self-effacing except about his golf game, but as a CEO, he is nothing short of terrific.
I think you will enjoy the stories he will tell over the years and the sense of caring and compassion evident in his approach to running an amorphous institution.
Feel free to comment on his posts and also to give him some golf tips.
Cheerz…Bwana
