Wednesday, September 21, 2005
The Lame Duck-Billed Platytudepus
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September 21, 2005
Breakfast with Bwana
The Lame-Duck-Billed Platytudepus:
“Let me put it to you this way: I earned capital in the campaign, political capital, and now I intend to spend it. It is my style.” – President Bush, November 4, 2004.
I know that President Bush does not believe in the morning-after pill, but when he uttered those words on the morning after the election, I couldn’t help but think it was one of the more stupid statements I had ever heard. A bitter morning-after pill whose taste he wishes he never had experienced. Coming from this candidate for the top prize in most stupid statements out of one mouth in the shortest span of time, that statement may not rank, at first blush, at the top of the heap. But think about it for a moment and you’ll get the picture.
Here we are, eight months post the inauguration for the second term. Mr. Bush just received a letter from the Bank of Political Capital. In pertinent part, it states: “Dear Mr. President: Your political capital has been exhausted and your account overdrawn. We can no longer honor checks without balances.”
Maureen Dowd, columnist for The New York Times seems to have achieved an orgiastic state in her Bush bashing. Tom Friedman too proves that Bush bashing is as fun as it seems popular.
What is lost, however, is the truth that this is probably the worst President in the history of the United States. Now, I know there are other candidates, but most of them have been ineffective, not desperately wrong. It seems that on virtually every issue of our time, this man makes a statement that defines a laudable goal: curb terrorism, cut taxes, fix social security, improve the education system – you name it – and then, on every issue, he stakes out the wrong position. No, not just the wrong position, but the WRONG position.
Now, in the wake of the devastation of our policy in Iraq, we hear platitudes about the “war on terror.” Iraq has become, in the President’s lame justifications, what it never was to begin with – a central part of the war on terror.
And talking about lame justifications, we have a lame duck President spewing platitudes on the Gulf Coast, in Mississippi, in New Orleans, wherever there is a chance that someone might want to know that this President doesn’t have a clue on how to fix anything. So, what does he say? He says to the people of Mississippi and Louisiana that they must tell the federal government what they want to do because the federal government won’t tell them. Of course, the federal government wouldn’t know what to say if asked. But, despite that, he says that he wants Congress to appropriate $60+ billion for the effort. Congress has already appropriated $73+ billion including supplemental bills. What’s another $10-15 billion when you have responsible contractors like Halliburton and Bechtel getting no-bid contracts?
The lame duck says that we will build a Mississippi and New Orleans better than ever. Really? At $200 billion, I sure hope it’s better than the $87 billion job we got in Iraq. Platitudes, platitudes, platitudes.
And he tells the American people and Congress that he will not raise taxes to pay for all this. So, what is Congress to do? Simple, says Mr. Platitude, you figure it out. Go cut something else.
What we got here folks, is a lame-duck-billed-platytudepus!
Three years and four months left. I hope nothing happens to this lame duck-billed mammal, or we could get Dick CHestpaiNEY instead. Why would a grown man call himself “Dick” anyway?
Cheerz….Bwana
P.S. For your souvenir collection, here’s a picture of the Commander-in-Chief at his November 4, 2004 press conference. Below is a more recent picture of him wallowing in the Gulf Coast shallows.
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September 21, 2005
Breakfast with Bwana
The Lame-Duck-Billed Platytudepus:
“Let me put it to you this way: I earned capital in the campaign, political capital, and now I intend to spend it. It is my style.” – President Bush, November 4, 2004.
I know that President Bush does not believe in the morning-after pill, but when he uttered those words on the morning after the election, I couldn’t help but think it was one of the more stupid statements I had ever heard. A bitter morning-after pill whose taste he wishes he never had experienced. Coming from this candidate for the top prize in most stupid statements out of one mouth in the shortest span of time, that statement may not rank, at first blush, at the top of the heap. But think about it for a moment and you’ll get the picture.
Here we are, eight months post the inauguration for the second term. Mr. Bush just received a letter from the Bank of Political Capital. In pertinent part, it states: “Dear Mr. President: Your political capital has been exhausted and your account overdrawn. We can no longer honor checks without balances.”
Maureen Dowd, columnist for The New York Times seems to have achieved an orgiastic state in her Bush bashing. Tom Friedman too proves that Bush bashing is as fun as it seems popular.
What is lost, however, is the truth that this is probably the worst President in the history of the United States. Now, I know there are other candidates, but most of them have been ineffective, not desperately wrong. It seems that on virtually every issue of our time, this man makes a statement that defines a laudable goal: curb terrorism, cut taxes, fix social security, improve the education system – you name it – and then, on every issue, he stakes out the wrong position. No, not just the wrong position, but the WRONG position.
Now, in the wake of the devastation of our policy in Iraq, we hear platitudes about the “war on terror.” Iraq has become, in the President’s lame justifications, what it never was to begin with – a central part of the war on terror.
And talking about lame justifications, we have a lame duck President spewing platitudes on the Gulf Coast, in Mississippi, in New Orleans, wherever there is a chance that someone might want to know that this President doesn’t have a clue on how to fix anything. So, what does he say? He says to the people of Mississippi and Louisiana that they must tell the federal government what they want to do because the federal government won’t tell them. Of course, the federal government wouldn’t know what to say if asked. But, despite that, he says that he wants Congress to appropriate $60+ billion for the effort. Congress has already appropriated $73+ billion including supplemental bills. What’s another $10-15 billion when you have responsible contractors like Halliburton and Bechtel getting no-bid contracts?
The lame duck says that we will build a Mississippi and New Orleans better than ever. Really? At $200 billion, I sure hope it’s better than the $87 billion job we got in Iraq. Platitudes, platitudes, platitudes.
And he tells the American people and Congress that he will not raise taxes to pay for all this. So, what is Congress to do? Simple, says Mr. Platitude, you figure it out. Go cut something else.
What we got here folks, is a lame-duck-billed-platytudepus!
Three years and four months left. I hope nothing happens to this lame duck-billed mammal, or we could get Dick CHestpaiNEY instead. Why would a grown man call himself “Dick” anyway?
Cheerz….Bwana
P.S. For your souvenir collection, here’s a picture of the Commander-in-Chief at his November 4, 2004 press conference. Below is a more recent picture of him wallowing in the Gulf Coast shallows.
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