Friday, April 01, 2005
MORTALITY AND MORBIDITY
This is the kind of comment one might expect on April 1, All Fools Day. But, even the April fool can fool us with some serious terminations.
Frank Perdue, the poultry magnate, crossed the road to the other side today. Rumor has it that he knocked on the Pearly Gates and Gabriel, ever playful, gave a toot on his trumpet and asked: "Hey Frankie, why'd you cross the road?"
Perdue might have asked "Have I made it to the other side?" However, St. Peter showed up and said "Hurry up Frank, this is getting to be a busy time. You better go get fitted for your wings."
Perdue moaned: "You're not serious, are you? I mean, you're not going to fit ME with WINGS?" Cluck, cluck.
And so it goes. A genius, the man was. He branded chickens. No mean feat. As he said, "it takes a strong nose to smell chicken shit all day."
I won't dwell on the passing of Terri Schiavo, but she is probably also admitted, an innocent manipulated by parents, husband, media and all, including sleazy politicians.
The Reverend Jerry Fatswell, was also said to have had breathing difficulties. Doctors seeking to do a tracheostomy type of procedure made another slit in his recturm so that this creator of the feral majority could breathe and talk at the same time. There's not much danger of his meeting Frank Perdue.
Prince Rainier of Monaco is gravely ill and his health said to be in precarious condition. I don't know that he did any particular good ... or bad. But they had good stamps, Monaco did.
Then, of course, there is the Pope. I am not a Catholic but I must say that despite my disagreement with his politics, I have been impressed by his piety, courage and pacific suffering. It does strike me, however, that his condition has worsened even as people pray for him. I suppose one has to be careful who is chosen to pray for one.
The near dead include Maurice "Hank" Greenberg, CEO of AIG. It is astounding that this man who was worth some $3 billion could not resist the impulse to cheat and steal. The WSJ has a story on him today. Two anecdotes bear mention. He would have meetings with AIG executives who were made to sit at the conference table without water or refreshments while he was served hot tea from a porcelain teapot by his butler. Also, in the corporate jet, executives were to use the small pilots' toilet at the front of the aircraft. The fancy bathroom in the back was reserved for Greenberg, his wife and his dog.
One of his sons was forced out of Marsh for bid rigging. The father's company was also accused of bid rigging. The other son heads Ace Group, another insurer also accused of bid rigging in the same scheme. The three played golf together according press reports. So, what do you think they discussed? Whether tea should be served at company meetings? Or, perhaps, whether the executive should be treated at least as well as the dog in terms of getting the proverbial key to the executive poop room? Was Warren Buffett the fourth or did he just not hear them yell "FORE!"?
Genetic stupidity.
Finally, President Bush's plan for Social Security seems to have been given its last rites by the last (and perhaps first but not Frist) of the Rights in Congress. Speaker Dennis Hasturd pronounced it dead by saying that there was no chance it would pass this year.
On the other hand, spring is springing. Baseball has its Opening Day on Sunday when the players, steroids or not, will try to let it RIP.
R.I.P.
Cheerz....Bwana.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Frank Perdue, the poultry magnate, crossed the road to the other side today. Rumor has it that he knocked on the Pearly Gates and Gabriel, ever playful, gave a toot on his trumpet and asked: "Hey Frankie, why'd you cross the road?"
Perdue might have asked "Have I made it to the other side?" However, St. Peter showed up and said "Hurry up Frank, this is getting to be a busy time. You better go get fitted for your wings."
Perdue moaned: "You're not serious, are you? I mean, you're not going to fit ME with WINGS?" Cluck, cluck.
And so it goes. A genius, the man was. He branded chickens. No mean feat. As he said, "it takes a strong nose to smell chicken shit all day."
I won't dwell on the passing of Terri Schiavo, but she is probably also admitted, an innocent manipulated by parents, husband, media and all, including sleazy politicians.
The Reverend Jerry Fatswell, was also said to have had breathing difficulties. Doctors seeking to do a tracheostomy type of procedure made another slit in his recturm so that this creator of the feral majority could breathe and talk at the same time. There's not much danger of his meeting Frank Perdue.
Prince Rainier of Monaco is gravely ill and his health said to be in precarious condition. I don't know that he did any particular good ... or bad. But they had good stamps, Monaco did.
Then, of course, there is the Pope. I am not a Catholic but I must say that despite my disagreement with his politics, I have been impressed by his piety, courage and pacific suffering. It does strike me, however, that his condition has worsened even as people pray for him. I suppose one has to be careful who is chosen to pray for one.
The near dead include Maurice "Hank" Greenberg, CEO of AIG. It is astounding that this man who was worth some $3 billion could not resist the impulse to cheat and steal. The WSJ has a story on him today. Two anecdotes bear mention. He would have meetings with AIG executives who were made to sit at the conference table without water or refreshments while he was served hot tea from a porcelain teapot by his butler. Also, in the corporate jet, executives were to use the small pilots' toilet at the front of the aircraft. The fancy bathroom in the back was reserved for Greenberg, his wife and his dog.
One of his sons was forced out of Marsh for bid rigging. The father's company was also accused of bid rigging. The other son heads Ace Group, another insurer also accused of bid rigging in the same scheme. The three played golf together according press reports. So, what do you think they discussed? Whether tea should be served at company meetings? Or, perhaps, whether the executive should be treated at least as well as the dog in terms of getting the proverbial key to the executive poop room? Was Warren Buffett the fourth or did he just not hear them yell "FORE!"?
Genetic stupidity.
Finally, President Bush's plan for Social Security seems to have been given its last rites by the last (and perhaps first but not Frist) of the Rights in Congress. Speaker Dennis Hasturd pronounced it dead by saying that there was no chance it would pass this year.
On the other hand, spring is springing. Baseball has its Opening Day on Sunday when the players, steroids or not, will try to let it RIP.
R.I.P.
Cheerz....Bwana.
__________________________________________________________________________________
