Saturday, January 29, 2005
Terminal Illness In Hollywood
Breakfast with Bwana
JANUARY 29, 2005
TERMINAL ILLNESS IN HOLLYWOOD:
Last week, after nature's irrational exuding of more snow in one day than I cared to see in a whole Boston winter season, we were fortunate enough to get off to Florida for a few days.
The flight was scheduled to leave at 8:30 AM from Boston. We boarded at 9:15 PM (no, not a typo). When I called at 5:30 AM, the airline rep told me that Logan Airport was open. Turned out not to be so. When we got there, c. 7:15 AM (getting a taxi was another story, but never mind that) they said the airport would open at 8:00 AM and then we'd be off by 9:30 or so. Then they posted a departure time of 11:11 AM. Sounds convincingly accurate doesn't it? Reminds me of the story that someone sent regarding the height of Mt. Everest. The guy who first measured it at 29,000 feet, thought it would seem too much like an estimate, so he added two feet to make the "official height" 29,002 feet. But, that's for another day, when I'll explain how it got to be 29,027 feet and now may be shorter.
The point is that they kept stringing us along and we lost a day.
Florida for me was golf, golf, and more golf, golf. Four! Yes, four times FORE! Mrs. Bwana got to see a Bucellati exhibition at the Boca Raton Museum of Art. I got credit for having heard the show advertised on radio and "suggesting" the activity to her. Yes, looking at jewelry is an "activity." Keeps the iris in tone, not to mention the sparkle that it adds to memory. She got in some retail counseling and purchase training.
On our return, I learned from the insert in the car rental brochure, that the Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport had begun operation of its Car Rental Center -- all rental cars to be picked up or returned, as the case be, at that center. Sounds like a good idea, and a good source of concession fee tax revenue.
The rental company's reclaiming of its vehicle was efficient enough. However, to get from the center to Terminal 1, you have to take the elevator down a level to the second floor and walk across the bridge -- other terminals are reached by shuttle bus from the same level as the vehicle return.
No luggage carts in sight, so one has to drag one's luggage. We had wheels on the bags, but this was bad planning especially with my golf travel bag to add to the unwieldy mix.
When we reached the terminal, we were one level below where the ticketing and check-in counters are located. Why was the bridge not on the same level so that we wouldn't have to go up and down? So, up the elevator on that side.
After ticketing, we were told to go down one level to the gate. This time, we walked down the stairs since we had checked our bags.
I wonder if the idiot who designed this building is related to one of the commissioners of the County. I mean, if you are going to spend millions of dollars building these things, why not think about what the purpose is? And, how to accomplish it without inconveniencing your customers.
Talking about irritating your customers, there were four announcements over the PA system. These were repeated at random intervals.
The first was a welcome to the Ft. Lauderdale - Hollywood International Airport, described as "a service" of the county commission or some such thing. Who cares? I want the idiot who designed it, to provide skycap service. And, I don't want to be "welcomed" to the airport ... especially when I'm leaving 76º F weather to go to 15º F.
The second and third announcements were complementary, sort of. One said, that if you were looking to rent a car, you should look for the signs for car rental that would direct you to the rental center. The other said that if you wanted to get a shuttle bus to a different terminal, you should look for the signs directing you to the the shuttle bus in the ground transport area.
Sheesh! I wonder if the architect's son needed a job reading announcements. I never would have guessed that to find what I am looking for, I should look at the signs. Usually, I just follow my nose.
The final announcement said that the Transportation Security Administration advises passengers that camera film should be placed in their carry-on bags, not in checked baggage.
Now, there was a timely announcement. You are in the security area, at the gate, the bags are checked, and omigosh, you've made a mistake by leaving your camera film in the checked baggage.
Where do they invent these morons? Or, do they just have terminal illness?
Come to think of it, I might just get a digital camera like the rest of the world. Should I put that in the checked bag or in my carry-on bag?
Next time, I'm flying Air Bwana.
Cheerz....Bwana
JANUARY 29, 2005
TERMINAL ILLNESS IN HOLLYWOOD:
Last week, after nature's irrational exuding of more snow in one day than I cared to see in a whole Boston winter season, we were fortunate enough to get off to Florida for a few days.
The flight was scheduled to leave at 8:30 AM from Boston. We boarded at 9:15 PM (no, not a typo). When I called at 5:30 AM, the airline rep told me that Logan Airport was open. Turned out not to be so. When we got there, c. 7:15 AM (getting a taxi was another story, but never mind that) they said the airport would open at 8:00 AM and then we'd be off by 9:30 or so. Then they posted a departure time of 11:11 AM. Sounds convincingly accurate doesn't it? Reminds me of the story that someone sent regarding the height of Mt. Everest. The guy who first measured it at 29,000 feet, thought it would seem too much like an estimate, so he added two feet to make the "official height" 29,002 feet. But, that's for another day, when I'll explain how it got to be 29,027 feet and now may be shorter.
The point is that they kept stringing us along and we lost a day.
Florida for me was golf, golf, and more golf, golf. Four! Yes, four times FORE! Mrs. Bwana got to see a Bucellati exhibition at the Boca Raton Museum of Art. I got credit for having heard the show advertised on radio and "suggesting" the activity to her. Yes, looking at jewelry is an "activity." Keeps the iris in tone, not to mention the sparkle that it adds to memory. She got in some retail counseling and purchase training.
On our return, I learned from the insert in the car rental brochure, that the Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport had begun operation of its Car Rental Center -- all rental cars to be picked up or returned, as the case be, at that center. Sounds like a good idea, and a good source of concession fee tax revenue.
The rental company's reclaiming of its vehicle was efficient enough. However, to get from the center to Terminal 1, you have to take the elevator down a level to the second floor and walk across the bridge -- other terminals are reached by shuttle bus from the same level as the vehicle return.
No luggage carts in sight, so one has to drag one's luggage. We had wheels on the bags, but this was bad planning especially with my golf travel bag to add to the unwieldy mix.
When we reached the terminal, we were one level below where the ticketing and check-in counters are located. Why was the bridge not on the same level so that we wouldn't have to go up and down? So, up the elevator on that side.
After ticketing, we were told to go down one level to the gate. This time, we walked down the stairs since we had checked our bags.
I wonder if the idiot who designed this building is related to one of the commissioners of the County. I mean, if you are going to spend millions of dollars building these things, why not think about what the purpose is? And, how to accomplish it without inconveniencing your customers.
Talking about irritating your customers, there were four announcements over the PA system. These were repeated at random intervals.
The first was a welcome to the Ft. Lauderdale - Hollywood International Airport, described as "a service" of the county commission or some such thing. Who cares? I want the idiot who designed it, to provide skycap service. And, I don't want to be "welcomed" to the airport ... especially when I'm leaving 76º F weather to go to 15º F.
The second and third announcements were complementary, sort of. One said, that if you were looking to rent a car, you should look for the signs for car rental that would direct you to the rental center. The other said that if you wanted to get a shuttle bus to a different terminal, you should look for the signs directing you to the the shuttle bus in the ground transport area.
Sheesh! I wonder if the architect's son needed a job reading announcements. I never would have guessed that to find what I am looking for, I should look at the signs. Usually, I just follow my nose.
The final announcement said that the Transportation Security Administration advises passengers that camera film should be placed in their carry-on bags, not in checked baggage.
Now, there was a timely announcement. You are in the security area, at the gate, the bags are checked, and omigosh, you've made a mistake by leaving your camera film in the checked baggage.
Where do they invent these morons? Or, do they just have terminal illness?
Come to think of it, I might just get a digital camera like the rest of the world. Should I put that in the checked bag or in my carry-on bag?
Next time, I'm flying Air Bwana.
Cheerz....Bwana
