Thursday, January 13, 2005
Showdown For Democracy At Haj-ullaf
In celebration of the electoral victory of Mahmoud Abbas, also known
as Aba Daba Doo Mazzen, and in anticipation of the (no-they-will-not-
be-postponed) "elections" to be held in Iraq, or some portion
thereof, Bwana resurrects a piece written in October, just before the
short strokes phase of the US Presidential election.
I regret to inform you that since the US election is over, the
Complaint Department with respect to this piece is closed.
__________________________________
Breakfast with Bwana
October 24, 2004
SHOWDOWN FOR DEMOCRACY AT HAJ-ULLAF:
Nawab al-Khabari, a Kuwaiti journalist traveled to New York to work
on a story he was doing for Kuwaiti television. He met three
naturalized American citizens at the Haj-ullaf Conference Center at
the Permanent Delegation of the Organization of the Islamic
Conference (see www.oic-un.org) in United Nations Plaza.. Hassan bin
al-Hsub and Abdul ud-Yrrek are Iraqi immigrants who have led
prosperous, if undistinguished, lives in Detroit, Michigan and
Madison, Wisconsin, respectively. The third American, Mohammed ur-
Redan, the scion of a Lebanese family is a former school teacher now
curator of the American Institute of Democracy Museum in Rittenhouse
Square in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Nawab did not hesitate to engage his invited guests in a
discussion of their views on American foreign policy and the upcoming
election. Needless to say, the two Iraqi-Americans were quite vocal
about the war.
Hassan bin al-Hsub grew animated: "My family was tortured by that
murderer Saddam," he said, using the former dictator's first
name. "He even tried to kill my father. And what was the crime of
my father and my family? Nothing ... nothing ... they were against
the merciless attacks on Kuwait by Saddam. In the name of Allah,
the Compassionate, the Merciful, it is the right of people to be
free. But not for the PIG. And make no mistake, by the witness of
the Prophet, blessed be his name, I do not care if he had no nuclear
program or chemical or biological weapons ... regardless, that
Saddam was really a PIG." al-Hsub spat on the ground as he uttered
the ultimate insult for one Muslim to another. "The world is well
rid of him. The Iraqi people will be free in the name of Allah.
And, for the American people, there can be no greater mission than to
bring democracy to the Arab world and peace for all people. I am
with the President."
Abdul ud-Yrrek, pulled up his shirt to display a scar. "I have
been in battle my friend. When the Americans first came to Iraq
under the father of this President and launched the Gulf War, I was
there ... it was before I moved to America. We fought against the
American helicopters with our rifles. I have shrapnel in my side to
prove it. By the Grace of the Prophet, praised be his name, the
Americans left and did not march into Baghdad. I was decorated by
Rais Saddam Hussein twice for my sacrifice. But then I went back to
Baghdad and spoke against the torture of the Kurdish women and
children in the North. Saddam who brooked no dissent, turned against
me. Now, I am an American citizen but I am uneasy that my country is
attacking my country. Yes, my brother, Hassan" he addressed al-Hsub
respectfully, "he the Pig was a PIG. But, in the name of Allah, the
Compassionate the Merciful, what threat was he to the Americans?
Everyday, I see on the television that people are being killed ...
hundreds of Americans but thousands of Iraqis. My cousins have been
killed. The Americans talk about terrorists and insurgents. My
cousins are not insurgents. They are poor people ... they have
nothing. They are not terrorists. If the American government had
listened to the French and the German governments in the UN, they
would have waited for the inspections. That would have shown that
Saddam had nothing. In America and in Iraq, we need schools for
education and hospitals and health care for the society. This war
will not bring such things but only give the terrorists another
reason to be strong. The war has killed more Iraqis than Saddam
Hussein killed in all the years he was the dictator."
Mohammed ur-Redan who had been in the background looked almost
shy when Nawab turned to him. At first, he seemed recusant. Nawab
pressed: "What do you think of the situation in Iraq?"
ur-Redan paused, pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped
his brow. "I am not an Iraqi. Yes, I am from a family with roots in
the Middle East, but I am American by birth. I hear the American
government leaders talk about bringing democracy to Iraq. But, at
home, we are a nation divided in two parts. It is not a democracy,
it is a demi-cracy." He laughed at his own weak joke, and then,
gathering himself, wiped his brow again and intoned: "If they bring
their kind of democracy to Iraq, it will be followed by corporations
who come to exploit the people and sell them cars that will pollute
their air. There will be special interest groups, the Shia and the
Sunni will split the spoils and exclude everybody else. If I were a
Kurd, I would be worried. I think this war is for the oil and the
big corporations. I have seen American forces in Lebanon, the
homeland of my ancestors. What democracy have they brought there?"
bin al-Hsub could not contain himself any longer. "No, no, you
do not understand the power of evil Those who do evil are evil
doers. We cannot wait for them to do evil to us. We must deal with
them firmly. The Pig Saddam had to go. I am grateful to America.
They are going to spend billions of dollars to reconstruct Iraq once
the fighting is stopped and my brothers will have the money of the
Americans for rebuilding and reconstruction so that there will be no
need for high taxes on the Iraqi people. That will stimulate their
economy and with the development of their resources, Iraq will be a
free country. I am happy that my new country America will do all
this for the Iraqi people and make it possible for other countries in
the Middle East to see the benefits of being protected by America and
democracy."
Abdul ud-Yrrek needed no prompting: "The Iraqis have no jobs.
We have destroyed the country and people have lost their jobs. They
have no hospitals and no health care,"
Nawab looked pensively into the camera. One could sense the
fatigue creeping over him. He had so wanted to capture the essence
of democracy for his audience back home in Kuwait. "So .... " he
paused, "you, bin al-Hsub, will vote for President Bush and you, ud-
Yrrek, will vote for the Senator from Massachusetts, John Kerry? bin
al-Hsub and Abdul ud-Yrrek nodded to signify their agreement. "And
you, ur-Redan, you will vote for neither?"
ur-Redan shook his head and said: "No, I cannot vote for them. One
is as bad as the other."
Nawab cleared his throat nervously: "If one of you votes for the
President and one of you votes for Senator Kerry, and one of you
votes for neither, how does this democracy work?"
"Ah, to know this, you must understand the electoral college," ur-
Redan said. "But, I warn you, they have hijacked the electoral
college so that only the big parties can win."
Nawab looked at the camera and said: "For you my countrymen in
Kuwait, next week, we will explain how the electoral college works to
make a divided country into a democratic one."
As the cameraman shut off the lights and put his equipment away,
Nawab asked of no one in particular: "Why didn't the Americans make
an electoral college in Afghanistan and Iraq?" Ur-Redan muttered
softly: "They have no judiciary to decide who will win."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
For my readers:
The Organization of the Islamic Conference is real. Their Permanent
Delegation to the UN is in Geneva. The web site address is
authentic.
Haj-ullaf, Hsub, Yrrek, and Redan are "Fallujah" "Bush" "Kerry"
and "Nader" spelled backwards.
Some of you will have realized, by now, that "Nawab" is an anagram
of "Bwana."
Cheerz.....Nawab Bwana
© Copyright, BWB 2004
as Aba Daba Doo Mazzen, and in anticipation of the (no-they-will-not-
be-postponed) "elections" to be held in Iraq, or some portion
thereof, Bwana resurrects a piece written in October, just before the
short strokes phase of the US Presidential election.
I regret to inform you that since the US election is over, the
Complaint Department with respect to this piece is closed.
__________________________________
Breakfast with Bwana
October 24, 2004
SHOWDOWN FOR DEMOCRACY AT HAJ-ULLAF:
Nawab al-Khabari, a Kuwaiti journalist traveled to New York to work
on a story he was doing for Kuwaiti television. He met three
naturalized American citizens at the Haj-ullaf Conference Center at
the Permanent Delegation of the Organization of the Islamic
Conference (see www.oic-un.org) in United Nations Plaza.. Hassan bin
al-Hsub and Abdul ud-Yrrek are Iraqi immigrants who have led
prosperous, if undistinguished, lives in Detroit, Michigan and
Madison, Wisconsin, respectively. The third American, Mohammed ur-
Redan, the scion of a Lebanese family is a former school teacher now
curator of the American Institute of Democracy Museum in Rittenhouse
Square in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Nawab did not hesitate to engage his invited guests in a
discussion of their views on American foreign policy and the upcoming
election. Needless to say, the two Iraqi-Americans were quite vocal
about the war.
Hassan bin al-Hsub grew animated: "My family was tortured by that
murderer Saddam," he said, using the former dictator's first
name. "He even tried to kill my father. And what was the crime of
my father and my family? Nothing ... nothing ... they were against
the merciless attacks on Kuwait by Saddam. In the name of Allah,
the Compassionate, the Merciful, it is the right of people to be
free. But not for the PIG. And make no mistake, by the witness of
the Prophet, blessed be his name, I do not care if he had no nuclear
program or chemical or biological weapons ... regardless, that
Saddam was really a PIG." al-Hsub spat on the ground as he uttered
the ultimate insult for one Muslim to another. "The world is well
rid of him. The Iraqi people will be free in the name of Allah.
And, for the American people, there can be no greater mission than to
bring democracy to the Arab world and peace for all people. I am
with the President."
Abdul ud-Yrrek, pulled up his shirt to display a scar. "I have
been in battle my friend. When the Americans first came to Iraq
under the father of this President and launched the Gulf War, I was
there ... it was before I moved to America. We fought against the
American helicopters with our rifles. I have shrapnel in my side to
prove it. By the Grace of the Prophet, praised be his name, the
Americans left and did not march into Baghdad. I was decorated by
Rais Saddam Hussein twice for my sacrifice. But then I went back to
Baghdad and spoke against the torture of the Kurdish women and
children in the North. Saddam who brooked no dissent, turned against
me. Now, I am an American citizen but I am uneasy that my country is
attacking my country. Yes, my brother, Hassan" he addressed al-Hsub
respectfully, "he the Pig was a PIG. But, in the name of Allah, the
Compassionate the Merciful, what threat was he to the Americans?
Everyday, I see on the television that people are being killed ...
hundreds of Americans but thousands of Iraqis. My cousins have been
killed. The Americans talk about terrorists and insurgents. My
cousins are not insurgents. They are poor people ... they have
nothing. They are not terrorists. If the American government had
listened to the French and the German governments in the UN, they
would have waited for the inspections. That would have shown that
Saddam had nothing. In America and in Iraq, we need schools for
education and hospitals and health care for the society. This war
will not bring such things but only give the terrorists another
reason to be strong. The war has killed more Iraqis than Saddam
Hussein killed in all the years he was the dictator."
Mohammed ur-Redan who had been in the background looked almost
shy when Nawab turned to him. At first, he seemed recusant. Nawab
pressed: "What do you think of the situation in Iraq?"
ur-Redan paused, pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped
his brow. "I am not an Iraqi. Yes, I am from a family with roots in
the Middle East, but I am American by birth. I hear the American
government leaders talk about bringing democracy to Iraq. But, at
home, we are a nation divided in two parts. It is not a democracy,
it is a demi-cracy." He laughed at his own weak joke, and then,
gathering himself, wiped his brow again and intoned: "If they bring
their kind of democracy to Iraq, it will be followed by corporations
who come to exploit the people and sell them cars that will pollute
their air. There will be special interest groups, the Shia and the
Sunni will split the spoils and exclude everybody else. If I were a
Kurd, I would be worried. I think this war is for the oil and the
big corporations. I have seen American forces in Lebanon, the
homeland of my ancestors. What democracy have they brought there?"
bin al-Hsub could not contain himself any longer. "No, no, you
do not understand the power of evil Those who do evil are evil
doers. We cannot wait for them to do evil to us. We must deal with
them firmly. The Pig Saddam had to go. I am grateful to America.
They are going to spend billions of dollars to reconstruct Iraq once
the fighting is stopped and my brothers will have the money of the
Americans for rebuilding and reconstruction so that there will be no
need for high taxes on the Iraqi people. That will stimulate their
economy and with the development of their resources, Iraq will be a
free country. I am happy that my new country America will do all
this for the Iraqi people and make it possible for other countries in
the Middle East to see the benefits of being protected by America and
democracy."
Abdul ud-Yrrek needed no prompting: "The Iraqis have no jobs.
We have destroyed the country and people have lost their jobs. They
have no hospitals and no health care,"
Nawab looked pensively into the camera. One could sense the
fatigue creeping over him. He had so wanted to capture the essence
of democracy for his audience back home in Kuwait. "So .... " he
paused, "you, bin al-Hsub, will vote for President Bush and you, ud-
Yrrek, will vote for the Senator from Massachusetts, John Kerry? bin
al-Hsub and Abdul ud-Yrrek nodded to signify their agreement. "And
you, ur-Redan, you will vote for neither?"
ur-Redan shook his head and said: "No, I cannot vote for them. One
is as bad as the other."
Nawab cleared his throat nervously: "If one of you votes for the
President and one of you votes for Senator Kerry, and one of you
votes for neither, how does this democracy work?"
"Ah, to know this, you must understand the electoral college," ur-
Redan said. "But, I warn you, they have hijacked the electoral
college so that only the big parties can win."
Nawab looked at the camera and said: "For you my countrymen in
Kuwait, next week, we will explain how the electoral college works to
make a divided country into a democratic one."
As the cameraman shut off the lights and put his equipment away,
Nawab asked of no one in particular: "Why didn't the Americans make
an electoral college in Afghanistan and Iraq?" Ur-Redan muttered
softly: "They have no judiciary to decide who will win."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
For my readers:
The Organization of the Islamic Conference is real. Their Permanent
Delegation to the UN is in Geneva. The web site address is
authentic.
Haj-ullaf, Hsub, Yrrek, and Redan are "Fallujah" "Bush" "Kerry"
and "Nader" spelled backwards.
Some of you will have realized, by now, that "Nawab" is an anagram
of "Bwana."
Cheerz.....Nawab Bwana
© Copyright, BWB 2004
