Tuesday, January 18, 2005
DESPITE POTARMAC FEVER MOURNFUL DEMOCRATS HAVE A BALL
BREAKFAST WITH BWANA
JANUARY 18, 2005
DESPITE POTARMAC FEVER
MOURNFUL DEMOCRATS PLAN TO HAVE A BALL
The Democrats are acting like sore losers. This is not to say that the Republicans are not sore winners. But, still licking their bleeding hearts, some Democrats have actually suggested that the Inaugural festivities be toned down. Sure, they make noises about such extravagance being inappropriate during a time of war and, if that were not enough, tug at your liberal heartstrings, by invoking the plight of the Tsunami victims. But their call to the President and Laura Bush to low ball this instead of having a ball just doesn't seem to be motivated purely by propriety and altruism.
And, the Democrats have got it all wrong. Once again, they have been outfoxed by Karl Rove and his strategic mastermind. The list of balls is staggering indeed: Bluegrass Ball, Black Tie And Boots Ball, Illinois Presidential Inaugural Gala, The Opportunity Inaugural Ball, American Indian Inaugural Ball, Commander-in-Chief Ball, Constitution Ball, Democracy Ball, eNaugural.com Ball, Free Republic Inaugural Ball, Freedom Ball, Independence Ball, Liberty Ball, National Coalition for Technology In Education and Training Inaugural Ball, Patriot Ball, Stars and Stripes Ball, Texas Wyoming Ball, The Ball After the Balls. The Entertainment Inaugural Ball, The Environmental Inaugural Ball, Michigan State Society Inaugural Ball, and the South Carolina Presidential Inaugural Ball.
It's too bad though, that they didn't combine the American Indian Ball with the Outsourced Indians Ball and just call it the Feathers and Dots Ball.
The point Rove wants to underscore is that this President, who is accused of being all things from a dummy to just plain rotten, can indeed handle a lot of balls in the air. In short, he knows how to have a ball.
The President is not easily fooled by Democratic chicanery. as we have seen over the years. In fact, he responded to the criticisms by yanking on a few strings himself, pointing out that he does care about the Tsunami victims, which is why, he asked his Dad and former President Clinton, to cheer on the fundraising effort. The President also said that he believes "it's important to celebrate a peaceful transfer of power . . . I'm looking forward to the celebration.''
Spin doctors who can diagnose Potomac gastritis, will note that lurking in that answer, is a theme about celebrating transfers of power in Afghanistan and Iraq. Hmmm... I wonder how he'll feel about peaceful transfers of power if the Brits give Tony Blair a blow in the gut in the next election.
But, I don't see anything wrong with the President's urge to celebrate. After all, you've got to start spending that political capital somewhere. Why not start in the Political Capitol? Chief Organizer, Burton I. Hall, who received a no-bid contract for providing food, entertainment, lighting, weapons grade fireworks displays, and worldwide logistical support, dismissed Democrats' complaints and suggested they should have their own Sour Grapes Ball. The Reverend Al Charlatan, was the only one to point out that "Burton I. Hall" was a not too obvious anagram of "Halliburton" and called for an investigation.
Representative Dennis Kucinich asked "What's an anagram?" Another former Democratic Presidential hoper General Weasely Cluck mulled over that a moment and said, "Well, Dennis, the best I can come up with is you 'Sinned Cuchi Kin' but if I say that, there might be confusion about my position on same sex marriage."
Most sensible Democrats have contracted the recently identified strain of Potarmac Fever, a delusional condition that causes them to seek the nearest highway out of Washington before Thursday's celebratory heraldry. Doctors advise them to avoid herds of elephants to prevent allergies and asthma-like attacks.
However, some desperate Democrats are still on a Phishing expedition in an effort to steal a part of the Republican identity and overlay it on their own. These diehards have suggested a few balls of their own.
The most prominent will be the combined Born Again And Resurrection Ball to rival the Black Tie And Boots affair run by the political pachyderms. This ball will celebrate a decided shift of the Democrats towards a more religious identity. Barak Obama will read from the Bible, and Quran, while simulating running a marathon on a treadmill.
The DISS (Democrats for Individual Social Security) Ball is designed to show that the political asses are willing to outdo the Republicans by transferring the Ownership Society's accounts to Wall Street money managers. An opposition group Prevent Individual Social Security (PISS) will have a protest ball.
To counter the balls representing an assortment of states, such as the Constitution Ball, the Texas Wyoming Ball and some individual state balls, the Democrats will have the Howitzer Dean Ball during which Dr. Dean will recite aloud the names of all states alternating between Red States and Blue States punctuated by whoops of delight and canon firing.
The Democrats, conscious of charges that they are soft on terrorists will have the Torture Ball during which Senator Kennedy will demonstrate deep underwater interrogation techniques and advanced waterboarding.
There is, however, one problem. The unsuccessful Democratic nominee, Senator Kerry, who was at the forefront of criticism of the planned Inaugural celebrations, appeared at a strategy meeting of prominent Democrats. "I really think that having a Democratic celebration is reprehensible. I mean, I was for the counter celebration before I was against it, but I really think we should drop the ball."
"Duh!" came a-thudding collectively out of the assembled group.
One of these days, the Democrats will learn how to have a real party.
Cheerz.... Bwana
JANUARY 18, 2005
DESPITE POTARMAC FEVER
MOURNFUL DEMOCRATS PLAN TO HAVE A BALL
The Democrats are acting like sore losers. This is not to say that the Republicans are not sore winners. But, still licking their bleeding hearts, some Democrats have actually suggested that the Inaugural festivities be toned down. Sure, they make noises about such extravagance being inappropriate during a time of war and, if that were not enough, tug at your liberal heartstrings, by invoking the plight of the Tsunami victims. But their call to the President and Laura Bush to low ball this instead of having a ball just doesn't seem to be motivated purely by propriety and altruism.
And, the Democrats have got it all wrong. Once again, they have been outfoxed by Karl Rove and his strategic mastermind. The list of balls is staggering indeed: Bluegrass Ball, Black Tie And Boots Ball, Illinois Presidential Inaugural Gala, The Opportunity Inaugural Ball, American Indian Inaugural Ball, Commander-in-Chief Ball, Constitution Ball, Democracy Ball, eNaugural.com Ball, Free Republic Inaugural Ball, Freedom Ball, Independence Ball, Liberty Ball, National Coalition for Technology In Education and Training Inaugural Ball, Patriot Ball, Stars and Stripes Ball, Texas Wyoming Ball, The Ball After the Balls. The Entertainment Inaugural Ball, The Environmental Inaugural Ball, Michigan State Society Inaugural Ball, and the South Carolina Presidential Inaugural Ball.
It's too bad though, that they didn't combine the American Indian Ball with the Outsourced Indians Ball and just call it the Feathers and Dots Ball.
The point Rove wants to underscore is that this President, who is accused of being all things from a dummy to just plain rotten, can indeed handle a lot of balls in the air. In short, he knows how to have a ball.
The President is not easily fooled by Democratic chicanery. as we have seen over the years. In fact, he responded to the criticisms by yanking on a few strings himself, pointing out that he does care about the Tsunami victims, which is why, he asked his Dad and former President Clinton, to cheer on the fundraising effort. The President also said that he believes "it's important to celebrate a peaceful transfer of power . . . I'm looking forward to the celebration.''
Spin doctors who can diagnose Potomac gastritis, will note that lurking in that answer, is a theme about celebrating transfers of power in Afghanistan and Iraq. Hmmm... I wonder how he'll feel about peaceful transfers of power if the Brits give Tony Blair a blow in the gut in the next election.
But, I don't see anything wrong with the President's urge to celebrate. After all, you've got to start spending that political capital somewhere. Why not start in the Political Capitol? Chief Organizer, Burton I. Hall, who received a no-bid contract for providing food, entertainment, lighting, weapons grade fireworks displays, and worldwide logistical support, dismissed Democrats' complaints and suggested they should have their own Sour Grapes Ball. The Reverend Al Charlatan, was the only one to point out that "Burton I. Hall" was a not too obvious anagram of "Halliburton" and called for an investigation.
Representative Dennis Kucinich asked "What's an anagram?" Another former Democratic Presidential hoper General Weasely Cluck mulled over that a moment and said, "Well, Dennis, the best I can come up with is you 'Sinned Cuchi Kin' but if I say that, there might be confusion about my position on same sex marriage."
Most sensible Democrats have contracted the recently identified strain of Potarmac Fever, a delusional condition that causes them to seek the nearest highway out of Washington before Thursday's celebratory heraldry. Doctors advise them to avoid herds of elephants to prevent allergies and asthma-like attacks.
However, some desperate Democrats are still on a Phishing expedition in an effort to steal a part of the Republican identity and overlay it on their own. These diehards have suggested a few balls of their own.
The most prominent will be the combined Born Again And Resurrection Ball to rival the Black Tie And Boots affair run by the political pachyderms. This ball will celebrate a decided shift of the Democrats towards a more religious identity. Barak Obama will read from the Bible, and Quran, while simulating running a marathon on a treadmill.
The DISS (Democrats for Individual Social Security) Ball is designed to show that the political asses are willing to outdo the Republicans by transferring the Ownership Society's accounts to Wall Street money managers. An opposition group Prevent Individual Social Security (PISS) will have a protest ball.
To counter the balls representing an assortment of states, such as the Constitution Ball, the Texas Wyoming Ball and some individual state balls, the Democrats will have the Howitzer Dean Ball during which Dr. Dean will recite aloud the names of all states alternating between Red States and Blue States punctuated by whoops of delight and canon firing.
The Democrats, conscious of charges that they are soft on terrorists will have the Torture Ball during which Senator Kennedy will demonstrate deep underwater interrogation techniques and advanced waterboarding.
There is, however, one problem. The unsuccessful Democratic nominee, Senator Kerry, who was at the forefront of criticism of the planned Inaugural celebrations, appeared at a strategy meeting of prominent Democrats. "I really think that having a Democratic celebration is reprehensible. I mean, I was for the counter celebration before I was against it, but I really think we should drop the ball."
"Duh!" came a-thudding collectively out of the assembled group.
One of these days, the Democrats will learn how to have a real party.
Cheerz.... Bwana
